Mrs Woman

Reads a thought-provoking bit of art near the neuro wards in a specialist regional hospital 70 miles away. It's a place I've spent a lot of time for the last four, nearly five weeks, visiting Mr W who's been ill with what emerged as a brain tumour and some unexpected complications .


Once he got to a stage where the photophobia, acute pain and high temperature were controlled, the doctors there interpreted the scans pretty quickly to come up with a diagnosis of 'intra ventricular space occupying lesion'. The op to remedy this went well, so much so on the day Mr W was amazingly coherent, chatty & cheeky whilst high as a kite on the anaesthetic. If there can be scarier times than wondering if your other half will successfully get through brain surgery, they kicked in the morning after he was discharged and started leaking cerebro spinal fluid - 'brain juice' - from his op site wound. A few hours later, after already visiting his GP and A&E as instructed, he became seriously ill again so ended up going back into the neuro wing for another couple of weeks.

So now he's home - again. Because of what happened last time he was discharged, I'm slighty cautious of relaxing fully. So far anyway. Everyday since he was first admitted to our local general hospital I'd set up daily measures & contingencies, some of which are still in evidence with notes left for family and friends, weird 'grab & go' food in the cupboards, pet arrangements. I'll put them away tomorrow. Maybe.

Meanwhile, my other half has a very impressive scar on his head, reminiscent of a shark bite according to one observer. The other thing that's evident with him is a changed outlook. Something about valuing whatever life throws at you for good or not so good, a more spiritual appreciation maybe. Not particularly from a religious point of view, just a tangible air of 'wake up and smell the coffee' before your particular espresso machine gives up the ghost. Even I can feel that wake-up fix: It feels like I've been sleepwalking for years and all of a sudden I've had a much-needed, good, dry slap. Just like a real bitch slap, there was a slight stunned feeling, then slow realisation of what's to be learned from the experience.

There's nothing like a crisis to really make you realise how many people you have in your life, what they mean to you and conversely, what you mean to them. And for all those people, even ones who I hardly know yet have been so kind, I'm really grateful you're there.